Goodbye,my love
by cagedanimale666
Summary: He sat back agenst the tree of age's , while the graphic memories plagued him. It's been close to a year now, yet the guilt of her death still shadows him.
1. Goodbye, my love

Good by, my love.(Song: All about lovein' you. By: Bonjovi)

He sat back agents the tree of age's , while the graphic memories plagued him. It's been close to a year now, yet the guilt of her death still shadows him. It was his fault, he had no control over the demon that awoken. If he had more control, she'd be there right now, in his arm's. He was so totally lost in his own pain that he even seeked out his brother and begged him to use his sword the Tensagia,. The sword of healing. But Sesshomaru refused and walked away.

He knew it wouldn't be in his brother's heart to help him, no, he'd rather watch as Inuyasha suffered.

And what was worse was, he didn't even have his allies to comfort him through this terrible ordeal. Why?, because they blamed him for the loss of there dear friend. But he didn't blame them, He knew they had every god given right to hate him. But no one could ever hate him, as much as he hated himself. What he wished more than anything was for death to grab him, so he could be by kagomes side in spirit.

He had her blood on his hands, he was a murderer. A demon only thirsty for destruction. And when that demon had its fill. It locked itself dormant. To leave in its racketing, a body laying lifeless and cold on the floor.

He pain of that day only intensifies.

Tear's run down the half demons face.

He let himself go, his been by that tree sense that day, and never moved.

He never ate, cause when he did the pain would cause him to be violently sick,

He stared down at his hands, hands that shook from lack of nourishment.

Hands that still smelt like blood.

The saddest part of it was, it was only before it was too late, that he came to realize that he loved her.

Loved everything about her, wasn't the fact that she was a reincarnation,. She was no were near the same as Kikyo, and that's why he loved her so much. Though in the beginning it didn't start out like that. He grew to love her, first as his friend, then as a woman. And what hurts him the most is. He never got the chance to tell her.

ALL ABOUT LOVEIN' YOU

looking at the pages of my life.

Faded memories of me and you.

Mistakes you know I've made a few.

I took some shots and fell from time to time.

Baby, you were there to pull me through

We've been around that block a time or two.

I;m gonna lay it on the line

Ask me how we've come this far

The answers written in my eyes

Everytime I look at you,

Baby I see something new.

That takes me higher than before,

And it makes me want you more.

I don't wanna sleep at night.

Cause dreaming's just a waste of time.

When i look at what my life's been coming to.

I'm all about loving' you.

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've payed some dues.

Baby, we've been through hell and back again.

Through it all you're always my best friend.

For all the words I didn't say

And all the things I didn't do

Tonight im gonna find a way

Everytime i look at you

Baby, i see something new

That takes me higher than before

And it makes me want you more

I don't wanna sleep at night.

Cause dreaming's just a waste of time.

When I look at what my life's been coming to.

I'm all about loving' you.

He closed his eyes and covered his face with both of his shaky hands and a painful sob, shook him. Tears flowed freely down his face and dropped to the soil on the ground below. I deep dark rumble of fury came from his chest. He clenched both of his fist and started punching the dirt and rocks at his feet. Cursing himself.

" Damn it" he growled. " Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!". His yell echoed through out the forest, and his knuckles cracked and started to bleed. But he was to numb to fell the pain.

" How pathetic".

A deed dark emotionless voice approached from behind him. " You just know realizing how weak you are. How useless and frail?"

There was no denying that voice.

Inuyasha looked behind him and saw Sesshomaru. For once Inuyashas agreed to the hatefulness his brother spoke.

It wasn't until kagome died that he wished to be human. He didn't want any part of being a monster, half or not. His transformations started coming without any warning. They never did find out why it started. It just did, It wasn't that inuyashas sword was destroyed, or cracked. It was perfectly in tacked. It was simply this. His inter demon found its way to break free. Leaving inuyasha with no control. He couldn't even hear kagome yell out to him. And when the killings and the demon subsided. He was left with a sight he never wished to see.

" Your incurably weak in your human state. More venerable, the memory pains you more now than ever, how longs it been brother? A year at most."

Inuyasha didn't even budge at his words.

" Why waste it all for a dead woman?" Sesshomaru asked.

Inuyasha looked at sesshomaru, and slowly started to stand. " You act as if you have nothing inside you but anger and hate." Inuyasha's voice was raspy. " But your only fooling yourself."

Sesshomaru tilted his head to the side.

" You say Im worthless because im human. And you denied me any relation to you cause of my mixed bloodline. Human and demon." Inuyasha paused. " Truth is your no different from me. Are you telling me if Rin died, you'd not suffer from the same pain?"

Sesshomarus eyes widened and he started reaching for his sword.

"How dear you. Don't compare me to the likes of you!"

The difference between them were. Inuyasha's heart told him to help humans in need. Even though humans in the past never shown him any kindness.

The problem with Sesshomaru was. His heart was darker and a lot less careless. He only wanted power and supreme conquest.

Until he meant the girl, and the new feelings he felt, he hide. Only because they scared him.

"I'm not comparing at all. I'm just making a simple fact. Why denie something so little as caring. It doesn't make you weak Sesshomaru, in fact it makes you more of a man."

Sesshomaru growled. " Your nothing but a lowlife worthless human who thinks he knows me. Feh a human should act like one."

Sesshomaru pulled out his sword and charged at inuyasha.

Inuyasha just stood there. " Go ahead. Kill me. I wont stop you"

In total shock Sesshomaru stopped in mid stray. He had a shocked and bewildered emotion on his face.

Inuyasha watched and started to walk up to the sword till the very tip of the blade touched his chest.

They stared at each other. Brother to brother. Son's of the great dog demon.

" Do it if you'er gonna do it. Go head, drive the damn thing through my heart."

Sesshomaru looked into his brothers eyes and seen misery. Inuyasha didn't fear death, he wished it. He welcomed it. What was the point in killing him, what that's what he really wanted. It was pointless. A wasted effort.

Inuyasha was confused, angry at most.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR? JUST FUCKING DO IT" Inuyasha screamed.

This was ridiculous. Sesshomaru thought.

He shook his head and slipped the sword back into it's sheath.

Inuyasha gasped. There he was giving Sesshomaru a free range and he refused it.

"WHAT? THAT'S IT, WHAT THE HELL?" he said so fast. "I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO KILL ME, AND THIS IS WHAT I GET. " he ran a frustrated hand down his face. "DAMN YOU!".

The wind blew Sesshomarus hair. " Know this Inuyasha, I well not kill someone who wishes for death, it would be pointless." Inuyasha cringed and looked away. " As much as I hate to say this. I liked you better as a half demon. At lest then, I knew id have a better battle in motion."

Sesshomaru turned and walked away. Leaving the inuyasha to fall on his knees.

Not even his brother would help save his hollow soul from pain. He walked over to the tree and sat back down wrapping his arms around his legs and hung his head. He was truly and emotionally alone.


	2. Touched

Everything around him seemed dark and so lifeless, Why did he have to be so weak, why couldn't he have been stronger, Why did he have to lose everything and everyone he loved.

Was this his destiny?, to be alone?

He whipped the tears away with the back of his hand and took a few calming breaths.

Then he heard a voice whisper out to him, a soft voice.

He looked behind him and seen nothing,

He heard it again and he looked all around scanning the blank dime forest named after him.

" Show your self" He said shaky.

The voice giggled softly.

" Don't fear inuyasha, " The voice was soft, sorta comforting.

His eye's widened, when he seen this glowing figure walk up to him.

It was so warm the light that came off from this glowing thing, was warm.

When it was close he stared hard at it, then he stumbled back stunned. " Ka, KAGOME!"

She smiled at him and nodded.

It was her, well her in spirit, she came to see him.

"Inuyasha I have been watching over you all year, I've watched as you painfully suffered from my loss"

His throat cracked. And tears gathered in his eyes again.

" I feel so lost, so very lost, I can't live like this, I can't live with the guilt of what I did" his voice broke and once again, a tear fell from his eye

Kagome reached out to cup his cheek, " Shh, don't blame yourself inuyasha, I never blamed you for my death, never, and neither should you" Her thumb whipped his tear away.

" But... But, I lost control, and ended up killing you, how can you say you don't blame me, your blood was on my hands." At that he lost it.

Kagome took both arms and embraced him. " Oh inuyasha, I'm sorry what happened tortures you so. The person who killed me wasn't you inuyasha, It was your demon, you and your demon side are two totally different people. I knew I was risking my life trying to get you back, I don't regret anything that happened. "

Inuyasha's eyes couldn't look her in the face.

" You were not the monster that killed me inuyasha, That was a whole different person all together, never for once think I ever thought you, YOU inuyasha the man I woken up from a dorment, the man I helped search for shards with and most of all, the man I grew to love, would ever kill me, your heart was to pure." she said

His throat felt like it was closing. She loved me

" I...i never knew" He said through trembling lips.

She smiled and shrugged. " I never knew you felt the same."

He looked away,. " I'm so sorry Kagome, I never meant for anything so horrible to happen. "

She shook her head. " I love you Inuyasha, if you don't believe anything else, at lest believe that." Her glowing form bent down and kissed him.

He closed his eyes and kissed her back.

He felt so strange, like there was a light forming in the pit of his hollow heart.

When she pulled away she whispered into his ear. " I'll always be waiting for you inuyasha."

When he opened his eyes back up, she was gone. But the warmth of her kill still lingered.

She didn't blame him for her death, . She blamed the demon.

She may not be here in his arms warming him and cracking the ice, but knowing she was watching over him, warmed him up little more at a time. Instead of sobbing, he got up and looked up at the sky. And did something he thought he'd never be able to do again.

He smiled and said. " Thank you kagome. Thank you"

Touched,

She reached out and whisperd in my ear,

A angel from heaven who told me, she'd always be there,

With such regret i held in my heart

She hugged me tight, and i fell apart.

She held out her hand

And said, come with me.

I was touched that day.

Touched by a miracle

Touched by a angel


End file.
